sex as a spiritual practice
Our deepest desire as human beings is connection, not only with our expanded selves, but with something greater than ourselves. I would define spirituality as a profound awareness of and deep relationship with our core selves and a connection to all that we are, and I would define a spiritual practice as one that supports this longing for awareness and relationship with self.
Sex as a spiritual practice might possibly be the most accessible way to reconnect to this deepest, most ancient part of ourselves. During a healthy sexual experience, the world falls away, thought is suspended, and pleasurable energy connects body, heart and spirit. We feel most alive when we are aware of the creative, generative, life-force energy flowing through us.
When we recognize that our bodies and our sexuality are sacred, when we learn to trust pleasure in our bodies and reclaim our innocent joy in sensory experiences, when we get over the idea that sex is sinful or shameful, we can transform our lives.
We can cultivate a spiritual sexual practice with ourselves, opening to the natural sensuality of our bodies, inviting relaxation, inspiration, presence and an expanded awareness of ourselves.
We can do this by being gentle with ourselves, by letting go of expectations and old stories, and by giving ourselves permission to explore our sexual space with intention, allowing ourselves the opportunity to discover what is erotically possible.
Consider the following when creating a conscious, erotic spiritual practice:
* Spend time alone - often, it’s when we step past moments of uncomfortable silence with ourselves that we start to become aware of our inner voice, and begin to know the essence of who we really are. Self-pleasure is not less-than. Our most important relationship is with self.
* Release expectation – this is a practice in being present and alive in your body. There are no rules to follow, nothing that has to happen, no goal to accomplish. You cannot do it wrong.
* Become aware - all you have to do is be present to what is happening in your body. Let go of thought and focus on breath and sensation. What are you noticing in each moment?
* Be curious – what does your body want right now? Take your time, notice without judgment, and follow your impulses with an open heart. Laughing, crying, rocking, dancing, caressing, shaking, chanting, screaming, kicking, stroking, slapping or stillness -feel into your desire and express it. Give your body what it wants.
* Savour the experience – How is it to be in your body in this moment? Notice what’s new or different and what’s the same? Record your thoughts, emotions and sensations in your journal. Weaving together the heart and the genitals, re-awakening and remembering our interior life and allowing the flow of our erotic, generative energy, we can come to know our bodies as a source of freedom, wisdom, and joy.