Let me say up front, I am a girl who has spent many a happy and satisfying hour alone with vibrators and dildos- they say variety is the spice of life. But for a long time, I never understood the appeal of playing with toys together. I mean, when the real thing is right in front of you…….Besides, toys can be confusing and embarrassing and messy and distract from the main event….
Wait a minute- what IS the main event? If it’s the big ‘O’, well then, move over, Lover and hand me that magic wand on your way out…..
But if the main event is capital ‘P’ Pleasure, well then, Lover, cosy over here and open up that tickle trunk!
In our pursuit of pleasure, two of the biggest obstacles we face is knowing what we want and like, and learning how to ask for it.
Bringing toys into the bedroom can feel a bit naughty and a bit silly, and can help open up the conversation about what we like in bed in a playful way. Toys can help us feel less self-conscious and give us permission to be curious: “What do you think we are supposed to do with this?” “Are we allowed to try it there?” We can shake things up and learn something new about ourselves and our partners.
Recently a male colleague said to me, “I love toys in the bedroom. It’s like I am a Sex-Cyborg- half man, half machine. Better, stronger, faster.” Who doesn’t love a good power tool?
Ready to stock your toy box? Take yourselves on a date to your local sex shop. Be playful and adventurous. Ask questions. Most reputable shops will let you play with their samples, so you can feel the shape and texture and power of them. When you see something that look interesting to you, ask for a demo. Allow yourself to buy at least one. I insist!
If you are on a budget, go to the dollar store, when you can fill your tickle trunk with hours of pleasure. Here are a few ideas to get you started in the world of sensory play:
work gloves with nubs on the palms
something very soft
Are you wondering what you should do with the above items? Good. Go directly to the $$ store, fill your basket, and then head straight home. I don’t want to hear from you until you’ve figured it out.